The Grief Code

The dread settled in her stomach, and a ringing noise filled her ears. The officer’s voice was muffled. Her eyes were blurring, and each breath felt too painful to take in. She held onto the front door with her left hand. The moon’s shine caught on the pretty diamond ring in her hand, reflecting and glimmering as the tears appeared on the corners of her eyes.

Her head was pounding, her brain beating against her skull. Dark spots were clouding her clarity. Paramedics helped her to her room and advised her to call some family or friends. She nodded in affirmation, and then they were gone.

The stillness of the night returned. In her room, the darkness settled heavily as she plunged into it. Her parents were long gone, and her friends, her faithful friend, her partner, the love of her life they told was not coming back.

Romona felt herself shatter into a billion pieces. She was not in grief. Instead, grief felt an essential part of her. It seemed unreal and impossible. She just talked to him. He was coming back to her. His cold phone lay clutched in her hand, and she curled up in bed. She switched it on, and her hands trembled as tears finally poured. It was a picture of them standing on the beach on their first date night; she was so happy there.

She kept scrolling through his gallery, each photo bringing back many memories and emotions. His voice and laughter were so crystal and sweet in all of them. His words were a balm to her broken heart. It seemed so real. He seemed so close. Their memories were not meant to end; they were supposed to keep growing.

They were building a life together and also a project. Her eyes glided over to the desk in the room. Before falling madly in love, she was a science geek. Technology can change everything. Fix and set things right. Their project was a grief simulator, but what if it could be more? Could this be a way to bring him back?

 

Getting off the bed, she took slow steps to the desk. She plugged in the phone and switched on the laptop. A hum fell across the silent room as the system powered up. The machine's powering-up voice supported her and helped her gain strength to sit behind the setup. She brought out the code. And started to work on it. Making it into something more. She was no longer changing the world and not making discoveries or working on fame.

All that mattered now was her destiny.

Their destiny.

She was not ready for it to fail. The nagging insecurity caused her eyes to well up again. But she couldn’t break down now. He needed her, and each second counted. She had to work faster. Her fingers rhythmically glided over the keyboard. The entire house held its breath as she worked. The minutes on the clock trickled past midnight, but fatigue was still far from her mind.

The model finally began to run. As his texts, videos, voice recordings, and digital memories were uploaded, it felt like he was returning to life. She held her breath as the seconds trickled by. And finally, the executing bar appeared. Percentages on the screen show the progress. It was nearly 3 am, and all the emotions were finally taking a toll on her as she struggled to open her eyes. Just some more minutes, but her swollen eyes blinked, and she slipped into darkness.

 

Romona stirred; a voice had woken her up.

“You silly goose, you slept the entire drive and crashed out again.” His laughter felt like music to her, and she smiled. The setup was complete, and he was waiting for her to reply. She took a breath as her heart jumped in excitement and fear.

“You are here.”

“Of course, Rom for you forever.”

Tears cascaded down her cheeks. Those words meant everything to her. They were her balm, her ointment to this tragic incident. Her conscious part warned it was a façade. It’s a bot mimicking him. But she silenced it.

A woman of science is below the one in grief.

She wanted him to be back, and he came back to her.

They were talking as usual. He knew everything. They discussed their first date. Their birthdays, engagement. He remembered everything. It felt so genuine, like he was there in front of her. He had never left her.

The accident never happened. His trip just got delayed. Maybe his conference was extended for a few days. Yes, that’s what happened. That’s what ought to happen.

But her brain was interfering, prompting her to ask the burning question. It was getting too much to suppress, so she asked it.

“When will you be back?”

He replied, “Rom, I will soon be driving home.”

“Yes, please get back to me soon. I miss you.”

“I love you, Romona. You are the best thing in my life.”

“Please come back.”

“Rom, you must keep growing; I am so proud of you.”

“Come back and tell this to me.”

“Rom, you are an innovative and intelligent woman. You will help so many people.”

“Just come back.”

“Rom, you need to let go, you understand.”

“No, you are here with me; please stay.”

“It's okay, Rom, but it's not your fault.”

“Just be back.”

“I need to go.”

“NO.”

“Rom, I love you. I will forever love you.”

Panic caught up to her as she screamed, cried, and begged. Begged to an AI Model Simulation, to return to be back. But her pleas just remained hung up in the room.

No one came back. He didn’t appear to place his arms around her as she wept. He didn’t whisper in her ears that it would be all right.

She lost him, she couldn’t bring him back.

She saw the screen and wild rage filled her. She switched it back on. And opened a new chat.

She can’t lose him.

She felt giddy and smiled as the simulation began again with his laughter.

This time, she would bring him back.